Are you looking for chocolate jokes? If yes, get ready. You have come to the right place. This collection of funny chocolate jokes is the best, short, clean, and dirty ideas for adults and kids of all ages.
Chocolate increases health and cognitive function. Additionally, it is delicious and healthy, and it can also be an amusement. Chocolate has many different names, colors, shapes, and sizes that are very sweet and tasty when chewed, like Candy Bar, Goo Goo, Bounty Chocolate Bar, and Chocolatey Chums. Without further ado, let’s jump in.
Best Funny Chocolate Jokes
These are some of the best funniest and most amusingly ridiculous chocolate jokes, that make you laugh and share the jokes with your friends or someone special! So let’s start with.
Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a Babe Ruth.
What Christmas carol do chocolate candy bars sing? ‘Almond Joy To The World’.
What is a galaxy's favorite chocolate bar? A MilkyWay
What kind of chocolate do you find in the fluff-catching drawer of the dryer? Lindt.
What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookie.
Why did M&M go to school? Because he wanted to be in the group of Smarties.
What's the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and one that produces chocolate milk? A moo-tation.
Knock, knock!Who’s there? Candy boy. Candy boy who? Candy boy have another piece of chocolate?
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A PayDay.
Time flies when you’re indulging in your favorite chocolate treat. It chocolati-tates!
I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasn’t that funny. So I just snickered.
Why did the chocolate go to school? Because it wanted to be a smartie!
I heard a rumor that chocolates have therapeutic powers. They can heal temper tantrums and break sadness!
I love chocolate so much that sometimes I even take it for granite.
Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate marks them as spam.
Funny Hot Chocolate Jokes
Q: What did the hot chocolate say to the ice cream? Answer: "You're cool, but I'm much hotter!"
Q: How does hot chocolate catch a break? Answer: Marshmallows it down!
Q: Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd? Answer: He was nutty!
Q: How do you know it’s hot outside? Answer: When you milk a cow with brown fur and you get hot chocolate.
Q: How did the hipster burn his mouth on hot chocolate? Answer: He drank it before it was cool.
Q: Should you use water or milk for hot chocolate? Answer: Some say the choice is clear, but I strongly disagree.
Q: Why did the hot chocolate break up with coffee? Answer: It found someone better; marshmallow!
Q: What did the whipped cream say to the hot chocolate? Answer: "I've got you covered!"
Q: Why did the hot chocolate go to the police? Answer: Because it got mugged.
Q: Why isn’t hot chocolate served in prison? Answer: Because it makes you break out!
Funny Chocolate Bar Jokes
What kind of bar is kid-friendly? A chocolate bar.
The engineer said, “Give me one chocolate bar.”
The engineer replied, “You wanna see something better? Let’s go back to the shop and I’ll show you real stealing.”
The shop boy replied, “Yes!!!”
The shop boy gave him one, and he ate it.
Then he asked for a second, and he ate that as well.
What’s Boris Johnson’s favourite chocolate bar? A Double Decker.
Finally, he asked for the third and finished that one too.
My wife hates it when I swap her chocolate bar wrappers around. It gets her Snickers in a Twix.
“Can you fit any more Milky Way Chocolate Bars into your desk drawer there, Jim?” “Nope, all outer space.”
The lisp magician gives everyone a chocolate bar. He still had a few Twix up his sleeves.
Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. I hate Bounty Hunters.
So they went to the counter and the engineer said to the shop boy, “Do you wanna see magic?”
Clean Funny Chocolate Jokes for Kids
Q: What do you call an avalanche of marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate?
Answer: A rocky road!
Q: What do parrots say when they see a candy bar?
Answer: Cao-cao! Cao-cao!
Q: On a cold and gray Chicago morning’ where was another little baby chocolate bar born?
Answer: In the Gateaux (ghetto)!
Q: What’s the best part of Valentine’s Day?
Answer: The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.
Q: What food is crazy about Valentine’s Day chocolates?
Answer: A cocoa-nut.
Q: Which is the clumsiest candy bar?
Answer: A Butterfinger!
Q: What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack?
Answer: Ones about Easter eggs – they’re morbid!
Q: Which is a chocoholics’ favorite kind of party?
Answer: One that’s choco-lit!
Q: What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar?
Answer: A Choco-Light!
Q: Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing?
Answer: A Bounty-ful!
Q: What is a galaxy's favorite chocolate bar? Answer: A MilkyWay.
Q: Which candy bar always gets picked first for the sports team?
Answer: A Skor!
Q: What was the French cat’s favorite Valentine’s Day dessert?
Answer: Chocolate mousse
Q: What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
Answer: A Candy Baa.
Q: Why was the candy bar confused?
Answer: Because she was a Her-She-y bar!
Q: What occasion do cute chocolate bars look forward to all month?
Answer: PayDay!
Q: How did the chocolate frog sneak into Hogwarts? Answer: It used the invisibility croak.
Q: How do you know it’s cold outside?
Answer: When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream.
Q: I’m looking forward to the day we celebrate that chocolate cookie with white icing in the middle. Answer: Mem-Oreo Day.
Q: I once saw a ghost made of chocolate and vanilla. Answer: Ice creamed!
Q: What did the astronaut say when he stepped on a chocolate bar? Answer: I just stepped foot on Mars."
Q: What do you call people who like to drink hot chocolate all year long?
Answer: Cocoa-Nuts.
Q: If Jake has 30 chocolate bars and eats 25, what does he have? Answer: Diabetes... Jake has diabetes
Q: What’s the best part of Valentine’s Day?
Answer: The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.
Q: What is a French cat’s favorite dessert?
Answer: Chocolate mousse.
Q: What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate?
Answer: Decad-ant
Funny Chocolate Jokes for Adults
I went to a church men’s campout a few years back. Everyone was sitting around the fire cooking breakfast. Joe, an old-time rancher, starts cooking some homemade sausage. A few minutes go by, then someone asks, “Hey Joe, what kind of sausage is that? It smells good.” “To which Joe replies, “Chocolate sausage.” This gets everyone’s attention. When the sausage finished cooking, Joe offers a piece to anyone who wanted to try it. A few of the guys take a cut and eat it, then get confused looks on their faces. The same guy asks Joe again, “This doesn’t taste any different than normal sausage. Chocolate?..” Still waking up, Joe clears his throat and says, “The horse was named Chocolate.”
A mum to her son: "Yesterday there were two chocolate cakes in the pantry and now there's only one. Do you know why?" Son: "I don't know. I think it was too dark for me to see the second one."
A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, “Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.” The boy looks over and responds, “My great grandfather lived to be 105.” The man replies, “And he ate that much chocolate?” “No,” says the boy. “But he minded his own business.”
Every time he drank hot chocolate, a man got a sore eye. He went to see his eye doctor, who examined his eye. The skin was red and irritated, but the doctor couldn’t figure out why. Perplexed, the doctor examined the hot chocolate and had it sent to the laboratory to discover if the man had an allergy. The results were all inconclusive. Surprisingly, it wasn’t always the same eye. Frustrated, the doctor eventually requested the man to go through the entire procedure of producing hot chocolate. The doctor wanted to know if it was because of the water or the milk. The man agreed and came around. "Ah, I can see what the problem is," said the doctor finally, as the man drank his beverage in front of him. "You haven’t taken the spoon out."
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. “Excuse me for disturbing you, ma’am,” he said politely, “but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I’ve noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread.” “That’s right.” “Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake.” “Well, today is his birthday.”
Short Funny Chocolate Jokes
What fruit loves chocolate? A cocoa-nut.
What's an astronaut's favorite chocolate? A Mars bar.
She’s got a “bittersweet” personality.
There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars.
I like my jokes like I like my chocolate, “laugh-tose-free.”
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Almond Joy To The World.
If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1: “Pizza because I’m so cheesy.” Friend 2: “Chocolate chip cookie because I have lots of friends.” Me: “Donut because I’m so empty inside.”
When I was a kid you could walk into a shop with a quarter and come out with 2 cokes, 3 bags of chips, 2 chocolate bars and an ice cream. Nowadays, CCTV everywhere.
Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out. The second one said, “Thanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one responded, “Actually, I’m a KitKat.”
Funny Dirty Chocolate Jokes
A chocolate a day keeps the grumpy away!
Q: What did the M&M go to college? Answer: Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
Q: Why did people make white chocolate? Answer: So black kids could get dirty faces too.
Q: Why is a Toblerone triangular? Answer: So it fits in the box.
Q: When it comes to stealing chocolate bars… Answer: I have a couple twix up my sleeve
Q: Why did the chocolate bar have a great sense of direction? Answer: It always had its cocoa-ordinates ready.
Q: Kids these days are so stupid. Answer: They actually believe I’ve got chocolate in my van.
Q: What do you call a chocolate-covered insect? Answer: A chocolate cricket.
Q: What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Answer: Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
Q: What is a French cat’s favorite dessert? Answer: Chocolate mousse!
Chocolate Puns
That was really dairy of you to throw a chocolate bar at me in the street.
How do you turn dairy chocolate into dark chocolate? Turn off the lights.
You can only drink hot chocolate all year long if you are cocoa-nuts.
What kind of chocolate can you buy at the airport? Plane chocolate.
For their dessert, most French cats like the chocolate mousse.
There was a candy party, guess who was late as usual? Choco-late.
The monkey that comes over at our place loves chocolate chimp.
What kind of chocolate bar can you eat in a library? A Wispa.
Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate marks them as spam
The electrician’s favorite ice cream flavor is shock-a-lot.
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
Talking is frowned at in the local chocolate factory, so I only wispa when I get there.
What kind of chocolate do you find in the fluff-catching drawer of the dryer? Lindt.
I love chocolate so much that sometimes I even take it for granite.
One-Liners Funny Chocolate Jokes
I got myself a hazelnut and chocolate sports car. It's a Ferrari Rocher.
I heard a chocolate joke the other day, but it wasn't that funny and only got Snickers out of me.
I just saw an aircraft made of bubbly chocolate. It was an Aero-plane.
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly disappointing.
Don’t fight with me over chocolate because I am not someone to be truffled with! These days, shoes are called snickers.
The electrician’s favorite ice cream flavor is shock-a-lot.
People often ask me how I manage to smuggle chocolate into movie theaters. Let’s just say, I have a few Twix up my sleeve...
I just got over my addiction to chocolate, nuts and marshmallows. I have to admit it was a rocky road.
Talking is frowned at in the local chocolate factory, so I only wispa when I get there.
These days, shoes are called snickers.
Don’t fight with me over chocolate because I am not someone to be truffled with!
Chocolate coins are mint to be eaten.
I always have a couple of Twix up my sleeves.
Conclusion
Thank you for reading Funny Chocolate Jokes. Chocolates can make us feel a lot of emotions. It can make us feel loved, happy, funny, and a lot more. We hope you’ll find good chocolate jokes that can make you silly and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
