The Yankees are a part of the American League East division in Major League Baseball. Throwing back! The New York Yankees are one of the most successful sports clubs in history. They’ve collected 18 division titles, 40 American League pennants, and 27 World Series trophies. Historically Record.
So, if you’re a Yankee joke fan, then this article is perfect for you. We’ve compiled a list of 100+ funny Yankee jokes for kids and adults, including Yankee one-liners, southern jokes, and dirty Yankee jokes that always make your face smile or someone else’s.
Funny Yankees Jokes
Q: What do Yankees fans use as a birth control method? Answer: Their personalities.
Q: Why did the Yankee bring a pillow to the coffee shop? Answer: They were ready for a “latte” nap!
Q: What is the significance of Aroldis Chapman joining the Yankees? Answer: Because pitchers don’t hit in the American League!
Q: What’s a Yankee’s favorite sport? Answer: Snowball dodgeball, of course!
Q: What do you get when you cross CC Sabathia with a carpet? Answer: A throw rug.
Q: What are people from Alabama called if people from Texas are called Texans and New Yorkers are called Yankees? Answer: Inbreds.
Q: Why do the Yankees lose so many day games? Answer: Their bats only wake up at night.
Q: What is the difference between a Yankee and a Native American? Answer: If you stick a feather in a Yankee’s hat, you have to call it macaroni.
Q: Trump’s favorite baseball team is the Yankees. Answer: Except during the draft, then it’s the Dodgers.
Q: What’s a Yankee’s favorite TV show? Answer: Anything with a fireplace in the background!
Q: What superhero did the Yankees attempt to sign as their designated hitter? Answer: Batman.
Q: What’s the definition of a yankee? Answer: It’s like a quickee but you do it yourself.
Q: What’s a Yankee’s favorite workout? Answer: The “shiver shake” – it works all the muscles!
Q: What is the difference between a hotdog from Yankee stadium and one from Fenway park? Answer: You can buy a Yankee stadium hotdog in October
Q: Which famous Yankees pitcher laid the most eggs? Answer: Goose Gossage.
Q: Why did the Yankee become an author? Answer: They wanted to write the ultimate guide to winter survival!
Q: Why did the Yankee bring a sleeping bag to the bar? Answer: They were ready for a “snug”-cade night!
Q: What’s more impressive than seeing a line drive? Answer: Seeing a baseball park.
Q: Why did Aaron Boone only want frogs in the outfield?
Answer: They never miss a fly.
Q: What did Gary Sanchez say to the baseball?
Answer: Catch you later.
New York Yankees Jokes
Q: Why shouldn’t toddlers wear New York Yankees jerseys? Answer: It would be a choking hazard.
Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the New York Yankees team?
Answer: They needed a little team spirit.
Q: What are people from Alabama called if people from Texas are called Texans and New Yorkers are called Yankees? Answer: Inbreds.
Q: New York Yankees officially sign Adrian Peterson. Answer: They needed a good switch hitter.
Q: What do New York Yankees lose every night? A. Their shadows.
Q: Which New York Yankees player wears the biggest helmet? Answer: The one with the biggest head.
Q: The New York Yankees Officially Sign Adrian Peterson Answer: They needed a good switch hitter.
Q: The Yankees spent $100 million luring C.C. Sabathia to New York. Answer: That was just for lunch.
Q: If the NY Knicks basketball team were chasing the NY Yankees baseball team, what time would it be? Answer: Five after nine.
Q: How do New York Yankees baseball players stay cool?
Answer: By standing close to the fans.
Q: In NYC, a black guy asked me if the Yankees won.
Answer: I replied, “Yeah, man, you’re free.”
So a New Yorker wishes to join the Taliban... And they take him to their leader. Q: "Do you accept Allah as your God and Mohammad as your prophet?" Answer: "Yes!" Q: "Will you jihad for the glory of God and his prophet?" Answer: "Yes!" Q: "Do you believe that after you die, you will join your brethren in God's paradise where rivers of milk run under ever-lasting trees and women with large black eyes will be there for your pleasure?" Answer: "Yes!" Q: "I'm still not convinced. Do you believe the Yankees will win the pennant this year?" Answer: "Yes!" "This man clearly has blind faith. Give him an AK and send him fighting!"
A Scotsman Visits his Pen Pal in New York City... and they decide to catch a Yankee's game. Now, the Scotsman was unlearned in the rules and dynamics of America's past time, so his friend took it upon himself to preach the religion of baseball. The first batter pops a fly out to center field. "Now, you see there? How the outfielder just caught the ball? That means that the batter is out." "Aye, that is sensible," says the foreigner. The second batter goes up to the plate. The pitcher walks him, so the batter takes his base. "Hold on jus a second there, laddie. How come this bloke just diddles his way down the field?" he asks. "Oh, well, you see, he had four balls, so he walks." The Scotsman bows his head and slowly shakes it. "Walk with pride, man. Walk with pride."
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Yankee Jokes One-Liners
Yankees love math jokes – especially those involving “pi” and “pie.”
Yankees know how to keep a secret – especially when it involves the best donut shop.
Yankees can talk for hours about the weather. It’s their version of small talk.
Yankees have a special dance move for when they step on a cold floor unexpectedly.
What’s a Yankee’s secret talent? Juggling coffee mugs while balancing on icy sidewalks!
What costs more to put holes in than anything else? The Yankees' lineup!
What did Daddy Yankee order at the Italian restaurant? Reggaeton!
What do you call an American Drawing? A Yankee Doodle.
What does a patriotic chicken say? Yankee doodle doo!I'll see myself out
After this early morning spring training workout, you wanna come be my afternoon delight?
All the other guys out there are like broken bats, I’m a good, hard wood.
Are you Anthony Recker because I just wanna let you pull my dinger?
I got fired from Yankee candle factory because I refused to work wick ends!
Yeah girl, I could take you to the ball, or I could bring the ball to you…
You’re like baseball: You make me all nervous and then nothing happens.
They say I’m like John Jaso because I’m all clear to be behind your plate all summer long.
Would you just take one for the team, and go out with me?
Clean Funny Yankee Jokes
An American and an Indian board a plane to LAX, Indian sits next to American. American asks: What kind of "ian" are you? -- What? -- I said What kind of "ian" are you? -- I don't understand your question. -- s**...! Are you Cambodian, Indian or Iranian? -- Oh! I am Indian. 2 hours passed without a word. Indian asks: What kind of "key" are you? -- What? -- Are you a monkey, donkey, or Yankee?
Yankee candle, known for its fragranced candle line of products has revealed it is making an odourless candle for the first time ever It makes no scents
What does a patriotic chicken say? Yankee doodle doo! I'll see myself out
A man is on a tour of the Yankee Candle Factory A man was taking a tour of the Yankee Candle factory when he suddenly saw an incredibly large machine and had no idea what it was. he asked the employee giving the tour what it was, and the employee replied, Oh! That's our patented Yankee Candle Maker 5000™️! The man seemed content and said to himself, Oh, that makes scents.
My brother has Tourrete's and it makes it very hard for him to find a job. I feel so guilty because I'm the one who told him the worst word he could say was "fuck." If I told him "hotdogs" was the worst he'd be working at Yankee Stadium.
What kind of "key" are you? An Iranian and an American sat on a plane next to each other, there was silence until the American asked the Iranian : - What kind of ian are you? - What? - I meant Indian, Indonesian, or Iranian? - Oh I'm Iranian Two hours passed without a word The Iranian asked : What kind of key are you? - Excuse me? - I meant what kind of key are you? Donkey, monkey or Yankee?
Guy tells the talent agent, "My dog can talk." Talent agent: "Prove it." Guy, to dog: "How does sandpaper feel?" Dog: *Rough, rough!* Guy: "What's on top of a house?" Dog: *Roof, roof!* Guy: "Who was the greatest Yankee ever?" Dog: *Ruth, Ruth!* Talent agent throws them out of his office. Dog, turning to guy, with a puzzled expression: "Was it DiMaggio?"
How many yankees fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just stand in the dark talking about how good the old one was.
So this black guys stopped me on the subway and asked "did the Yankees win?" I looked him in the eye and said "Yes, it's ok, you're free now"
My Uncle said this now that there are two popes Two popes walk into a bar with Yankee caps on. The bartender says, "Didn't you guys use to be Cardinals?"
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Conclusion
Thank you for reading funny Yankee jokes: We hope you loved and enjoyed this article. never forget to share these at your next game or party that you attend. We have surely made your friends laugh their heads off.
